I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
