These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
