I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
