He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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