no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
