I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
