That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
