found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
