Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
