I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You work out of a Hotel?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't deserve a penis
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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