Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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