Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think people are normalizing furries
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
