Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
