just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
