I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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