How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Help. Why am I so naked?
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