Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Don't make out with my wife yet
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
