The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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