we have pet lesbian snakes
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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