You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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