i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
