this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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