i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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