hell yes lets make some ravioli
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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