pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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