is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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