just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
