I love black thongs
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
