Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
