i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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