dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
pray to the hookup gods
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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