oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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