the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
