3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
