so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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