You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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