yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
