3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
