I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
