I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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