Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
