How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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