He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
