am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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