Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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