if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
