Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
