when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
