it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I understand Curling. That high.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
