So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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