I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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