I'm jealous of your bromance
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
