Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
