You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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