I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
