are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
