Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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