Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
