Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
how drunk are you?
Several
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize